You did it!

Happy New Year, my hearts!

It is January 1, and I was going to construct a vision board, but it was becoming too much pressure. Where would I get my pictures? My words? What do I want anyway? Am I ever intentional?

My lack of intention became a rabbit hole down which I lost hours and which took hours to escape.

Then I was going to take an online class about my Inner Warrior, which I may still do, but I can't print off the instructional material because we have no magenta ink(can't even print in black and white, because buying printer ink is a Ponzi scheme). The instruction was to decide to commit to being the "shu," the follower, so drawing my own "shu" card isn't good enough to stick in my shoe for one day(that's the instruction).  I have to put off engaging my Inner Warrior one more day until I can get magenta and cyan ink, (because where magenta goes, cyan is quick to follow).

I set my sights on resolutions. Resolutions are hard for me because I have that weird form of perfectionism that makes my inner voice say "You are not doing this right. You will never do this right. If you can't do it well, don't do it." My inner voice is kind of a bastard. For me, resolutions are an exercise in fatalism and failure. One poor attempt at change and I fall apart.

To remedy all of these quirks, I bought a planner and I wrote all of my good intentions out for the month. Get up and dress my Inner Warrior at 6 AM. Cool down with yoga for relaxation at 8PM, followed by journaling to discover my truths, so that next year, my vision board will make itself. I'm already regretting putting it all in there. Now it's recorded for me to fail to complete or to cross out in shame or to pretend to do, but really half-ass it. I did buy my favorite pens and used my best penmanship, so I've got that going for me. I have cute stickers to add to it, and goodness knows I can fill the days with all of the things I do in a day, or a week, or a month, but most likely I will only see the sad reminders of what I haven't completed.

It occurs to me that I don't need to write a "TO DO" list. I need to pen a "YOU DID IT" list. If I list my accomplishments, no matter how mundane, maybe I won't see the failure in every attempt, but all of the attempts.

It seems too easy. I guess I will add that to my gorgeous new planner pages. Like this:

Hope you are feeling excited about all of the possibilities in the New Year, but not making yourself sick over them. Let's just be kind to ourselves and each other. We are doing the best that we can, when we can.

Love,
Corks