Saallluutt(think Hee Haw)!
It's Spring and this girl's fancy is turned to thoughts of vacations and sundresses and espadrilles and the sun on her face and the wind in her hair, and may not be so focused on cars that are slowly driving past her driveway as she backs out, lost in thought. Allegedly.
What thoughts had me so consumed(allegedly)? Let's see if I can list some of them:
1. Do I need to sew that little piece of hem of my dress that is coming undone, or should I wait until it's really bad?
2. How fat am I today?
3. Did I complete [insert project here]?
4. Am I good enough?
5. The lyrics to"Waterfalls" by TLC
6. Incomplete lines of poetry by Keats, Ashbery, Tennyson, Shakespeare, Auden, Yeats.
7. I learned lots of parts of poems at GMU.
8. Why did that guy in my awful, awful communications class hate me so much?
9. That guy was an asshole.
10. Super excited I straightened my hair last night.
11. The lyrics to Talking Heads "Once in a Lifetime": Same as it ever was, Same as it ever was
12. Would I know if I had ovarian cancer?
13. Did I turn off the light in the bedroom?
14. ugh, Donald Trump. I can't.
15. I mean. I can't even.
16. What an asshole.
17. I bet that guy in my communications class is voting for Trump.
18. Would I know if I have melanoma?
19. How could I get a job with One Foundation?
20. Would I get to meet Bono?
21. Did E brush her teeth?
22. Did L brush her teeth?
23. Did A brush his teeth?
24. I should have flossed better.
25. Espadrilles are my favorite summer shoe.
26. OMG it's sangria season.
27. I should have cleaned the kitty litter.
28. Which kid can I get to clean the kitty litter?
29. I can't believe we have a cat.
30. I want a Great Dane puppy.
31. Do deer eat lavender?
32. Black-eyed Susans would look great in the front yard.
33. The lyrics to Maryland, My Maryland.
34. The lyrics to "Mon Beau Sapin, Roi des forets"(same tune as 33, aka O Tannenbaum, but en francais)
35. I hope someone comes to the Guild of the Christ Child meeting on Sunday.
36. The sky is so blue.
37. The birds are singing...
So, that's SOME of the thinks I was thinking for the 20 feet I was (allegedly) backing out of my driveway toward someone else's car. And really, any given day, at any time. I walk around lost in thought all the livelong day. Some of it is important and most of it is space junk. And apparently, I'm not the only one. Not only have some of my very smartest friends and coworkers admitted to me that they, too, have struck a car in their own driveways(allegedly), but maybe more than one. Or two. So, darling husband, No. I am not going to win the Guinness World Record for Most Cars Struck in One's Own Driveway. Yet, and allegedly. But there's a reason for it. I have a complex brain.
Don't believe me? Then, science: Women Have Complex Brains. I can't help it, complexity is my biological destiny and yours, too, fellow women. There is a reason for our distraction and our forgetfulness and for our kids having to pull us back from Neptune by repeating, "Mom, Mom, Mom. MOM, MOM, MOM. MOTHER! COURTNEY!!!!!" We should be absolved from all of it. And given more mornings to sleep in quiet rooms.
Please be safe out there. Don't add distractions to our busy brains while driving--turn off the cellphones; don't twerk in the car; give the children big wads of bubblegum to keep them quiet. I love you all! Even the(alleged) bad drivers.
Love,
Corks
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