What's the story?

Oh HELLO!!!

It has been a while, my loves. I have been focusing on my mental health, because Trump. I can't even. ANYWAY, I digress, on to more hopeful things. 

 I love flowers. When I was 4, my parents took me to pick up my first dog. She was a fluffy gray Old English/Black Lab mix. My dad told me I needed to think long and hard about the most perfect name for her. After several seconds of deep preschool contemplation, I chose "Tulip." At the time, tulips were my favorite flower. Since, we have lived with pets named Daffodil, Marigold, and Pepper Daisy. Also, a daughter nicknamed Lily. I would also have a daughter called Poppy, but the men in my family are not whimsical enough.

Flowers are my thing. I love to get up close and peer into their little flower hearts. Stripey pansy faces, layer upon layer of camellia blossoms, the white, fragrant trumpets of jasmine in Spring make my heart full. My favorites, though, might be humble morning glories. They persevere through brutal Southern Summer by closing themselves down tight in the hottest hot of the afternoon, only to regale themselves of the dewy morning crispness(if 78 and 85% humidity is crisp) by casting the sun's rays back to her from their bright, tear-dropped trumpets. They make me wax poetic. 

I threw some morning glory seeds in front of our fence about 10 years ago and they have flourished! Every year, they find a new place to spread--this year it was the camellia--and we have to remove them to keep them from taking over the garden, à la kudzu.  But they grow back along the fence early every Summer and die back sometime between late September and late October. This morning, they greeted me like this:

The big bustle of beauty at the top of the fence is show-stopping, but the flower that caught my eye was the one down toward the bottom. If I were a morning glory, I would be that one. I feel like I am always far from where I want to be. Personal growth is really hard for me. I start out at the top of my game, with makeup on and my hair done, but after a while, I desperately need to shut down, pulling myself inward to muster my resources until it's my time to shine once more. I come back again and again, getting up to greet the day with my goals in mind and my face turned to the sun. I grow a little bit every day and I keep showing up, after some much needed quiet, just like that lone flower.  We might make it to the top, we might not. 

The glory is in the trying. 

Keep finding the sun, friends.

Love, 

Corks

Enough, loves.

Hey loves,

This week has been a doozy. We have lost a couple of our faves in the very saddest way to lose them. We do not get answers. There is no goodbye. Frankly, it sucks. 

Me and mine, we have big feelings--high and low. Most of us, in my family, have lower lows than higher highs. It's our chemistry, our DNA, our birthright. We know what it feels like to be alone in a crowd. To feel like we are losing, even when we are winning.  There is no rhyme or reason to it. Oftentimes, happiness is temporary. Terrible is the cloud the follows us from home to work, city to city, state to state. Seriously, it's like a Smiths' song come to life. 

We keep living our lives. God helps. We are people of faith and church is often my personal respite. 

Dogs help. If you've wondered about our family dog obsession, I think it's because you are never alone when you have a dog. Dogs have a way of comforting our deepest, saddest, innermost souls. Our house will never be without one. Or two. Or three. (Other people have other pets, but for us, it's dogs. Ok, and the occasional cat who wanders up on the patio.)

Doctors help. Friends help. Work helps. Sunshine helps. Exercise helps. Books help. Music helps. Driving helps. Shopping helps. A little wine helps. Instagram helps. Facebook helps. Just. Making. The. Effort. Helps. 

We are not depressive, morose people on the outside. I mean, most of the time. We laugh. We make things. We cook. We celebrate. We love each other and other people. We also bicker and fight and make a general mess of things. We look regular.  

We are regular. 

So are you, if sometimes you feel like nothing ever goes your way and no one ever hears you. Also, if you just want to lie on your bed until you become a part of the sheets and never have to move or bathe or anything. Or if you push through the fog to go out and fake it for the world. All of us, in this world, know what heartbreak is in some way or another. We know how it feels not to feel loved(even when we are). 

One of my kids went to drama camp this week. During the orientation, the number one question from the kids to the director was, "what if I mess up when we are performing?" The director's answer was my favorite thing ever. She said, "we say to each other, 'you are enough.'" When someone makes a mistake or forgets their lines or messes up, they say "you are enough." 

YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

You are enough. 

you are enough.

YoU aRe EnOuGh.

You are enough

I love you.
 Corks

PS Get the help you need, if you can. Help a friend to get help, if you can.
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
text: "home" to 741741 to speak to a crisis counselor
call: 1-800-273-8255

You are so beautiful. To me.

Y'ALL.

I need to say this to you. To all of you.

You are not perfect. It is so okay.


If you know me, you know that I sell clothes to women. If you don't know me, well, I sell clothes to women. I am a professional salesperson. I love people, color, and fabric--not always in that order--so it is a job that suits me. I am also REALLY good at surprising people with what will look good on them and really honest when I think something doesn't suit them(I can be wrong. I'm looking at you, CZ, that polo dress).

Here's what I say when I think something looks good on a person:

"That looks great on you."

Here's what I say when I think we could find a better fit for a person:

"I think we can do better."

Both statements are true. I don't say either one unless I mean it. The funny thing is that woman always take me at face value when I tell them we can do better. They agree that something doesn't suit them. But--you know where I am going with this--they almost always ask "are you sure?" when something DOES LOOK AMAZING. It's kind of annoying.

How many times has a woman asked me "can you see how crepey, floppy, pale, loosey-goosey my arms are?" COUNTLESS.

"I was born with thick legs." I have heard this 1 BILLION times(feels like).

"If I was a pretty, young thing I could wear this." Seriously? If you don't have the confidence now, you wouldn't have had it then.

"I'm so disappointed in myself."
Ok, that's the one that makes me want to shake every. single. woman. who says it. Why are you so hard on yourself? Your figure is not up to the Mattel ideal, but that's because you are a real person, not a freak in a plastic box. You baked and it smelled so good that you ate an extra cookie(or five). You had some super fun evenings out and you ate great food with friends and family and you gained 7 pounds.  You live in a house with a teenager and wine, cheese, and chocolate are truly the only things keeping you going. You had 5 kids and your stomach just can't ever go back to what it was when you were 15 and too self-conscious to appreciate it(there's another whole lesson in that). And it all happens to everyone at some time and some place because calories and gravity.

You have this body that is keeping you going, maybe not perfectly, maybe not swiftly.
If you are reading this you are alive, so that's something. Don't let a number on a tag or a scale define your worth. It doesn't matter. Do the things that make you healthy, but don't be obsessed with stretch marks, cellulite, or the elasticity of your arm skin. That's not healthy either. And because I used to sell clothes to tween girls, I can tell you that every word you say goes in their ears. They told me that their butts were too big, or they had thick ankles. And they were 8-14. That 6 years is tumultuous already, with hormones affecting everything from body hair to emotional stability. Those kids don't need to internalize your negative self image, because you and I both know how perfect they actually are. Just like their mommas.

To sum up, you are actually amazing. Everyone has something they don't like and cannot do anything about. Enjoy your life, make the choices that work for you. Finally, if I tell you something looks good on you, it looks good on you. Trust me, I'm a professional.

Love,
Corks