#firstworldprobs

Hi friends,

I have been up for a couple of hours this morning and I can't decide what to eat for breakfast. I think it's a dilemma a lot of us 40+ people have: finding food that gives you the most bang for the buck nutritionally, so that you don't overspend your daily allotment of calories and keeps you full until lunch. But I also want it to taste good so I'm staring into my pantry.

I'm also grumbling to myself about the jeans that I'm wearing, because they would be a lot more comfortable if I lost 5 pounds, which is what started this whole breakfast debate. And the psychic grumbling over my jeans reminds me that I definitely want to go online and continue my search for the PERFECT dress to wear this Fall, because I want something that will be comfortable, figure-flattering and fashion-forward. It's an elusive garment, and I think it's the thrill of the hunt that keeps me going, because I never find just the right one.

Inevitably, while I'm shopping in cyberspace, I decide to look at one of the many "Old Houses" websites that exist to find the perfect house in just the right state of disrepair(read: most of the work is done and it's not going to fall down anytime soon)that would perfectly showcase my mishmash of kidart and family heirlooms. Which leads me to looking for jobs in whatever corner of the Northeast I've found the latest 300-year-old saltbox--do I want to manage a Dollar General in downeast Maine?--and that reminds me I need to get a haircut because no one would hire a girl with a bird's nest on her head. Of course, I've got to go check out Pinterest for a new stylish cut and while I'm there, I'll see all of the awesome suggestions Pinterest has for my boards...and you get the idea. Before I know it, my morning is gone and I've moved my whole life into cyberspace and out of reality.

Why? Why do I love this imaginary world? Probably because my real life has too-tight jeans and kid murals ON EVERY WALL and 100% humidity and bickering children and doughnuts with lots of calories. Also, because my life is incredibly easy, and I have time to do all of this daydreaming. I am not out on the street in my too tight jeans and 100% humidity, searching for my next meal. I am not living in a trash dump with my family foraging for everything or cooking in a wood-burning stove or hanging out at the unemployment office or at the food pantry.

I'm in my air-conditioned, well-stocked, comfortable home dreaming about an imaginary life. I have healthy, intelligent children who are capable of drawing on the walls and coming up with new and imaginative insults for each other. I have a job and a husband and two dogs and a family and all the things many, many people dream of and I'm living in a fantasy world. Huh.

Clearly, I've got to work on on my perspective. This is not a new concept to me. I work on it ALL THE TIME. I think it is, in fact, my big lesson to learn. I will need your help, so next time I'm bitching about not finding the perfect dress or about the many choices I have for breakfast, pinch me. Please.

I'm getting up from the computer now and having a real conversation with one of my charming children.

Love,
Corks

PS. In case you were wondering, I ended up making oatmeal topped with a very ripe peach.

All in the family

Hi friends,

The most amazing thing happened tonight. My cousin, Amy, in Oregon, sent me this picture on FB:

She also sent this message: Look at what Chris found on eBay and gifted to my dad! Can you believe it?? Jim hasn't taken it off!!
 
Here is a news article from the 70's I found about my Dad leading a retreat to give you a little background and for a crappy black and white visual:

The News Frederick, Maryland

Monday, July 7, 1975

As you can see and read, my Pops was a potter and a teacher and a spiritual retreat leader. In his community, he was kind of a big deal. You can imagine my surprise, then, to see one of his marks come up on eBay, because those were pieces that represented his whole theology--he was marked as a sinner and redeemed by Christ's blood--and it just seems like $10 on the internet isn't special enough for that piece of my Dad. Alternately, though, I am elated that my cousin found it and was able to give it to his father, my dad's nephew. What are the chances? I mean, I'm truly thrilled. Dad loved his nephews like sons and I know he couldn't be happier than to have found a way home to his family. Wear it well, Jim, and remember to tell my Dad I say "hey" every once in a while.

Anyway, this whole episode makes me think about how we value things and how an original Bud Wilkinson has intrinsic value for me and a whole lot of people who loved him, but it's worth $10 on eBay to someone (who probably was gifted it or found it while cleaning up a loved one's affairs or any myriad of circumstances) who did not know my Dad(or did and didn't like that piece or my Dad). Value is something I question all the time, probably because I'm a person who likes things. I love to shop and find treasures and bargains and to make things and surround myself with beautiful things. But I have a big family and although we have a nice-sized home, there is never enough room for everything. Paper alone takes up about 15% of our home, not to mention the living room-sized kennel for the incontinent Great Dane, so space is at a premium in our home. If I bring home more things, they immediately lose their value because there isn't room for them to be special. So, lately, I've had to really think about whether things are valuable enough to come into the house.

And then I think about the value of people and of our personal history and how I saw that picture on my Facebook and IMMEDIATELY flashed on hundreds of mental images of Dad wearing a mark around his neck, like when he wore his gorgeous, blue batik dashiki to my sister's wedding or when he was cruising around town in the yellow shirt that my mom made for him or the picture I have of him and my Aunt June and Uncle Nibby and they are all gone now and once my dad was alive and wearing a necklace just like the image on the computer in front of me. That organic circle of flattened clay means more to me than any tchotchke or fine piece of art I could buy.

I can't judge the person who put Dad's mark on eBay(I mean, I can, but I'm trying not to) because they didn't have a personal history with a chunk of clay. It's just a thing. I will take more time, though, to think about the things I have and how I can imbue them with memory and experience that will have value to those who knew me and I'm understanding that has more to do with who I am than any old thing.

Please tell me about the things that you value. I would love to hear about them.

Love,
Corks

Limits.

Hello peeps,

Right this very second, I'm listening to E while she plays on a new reading game on the iPad. She coos "ohhhh, that's a-DOR-able!"about every single picture. At first, it was adorable. Unfortunately, I'm having one of those limited patience days and it isn't anymore. There are lots of reasons for my limited patience days(LPDs)and today, I'm blaming these three things:

1. lack of sleep
2. my vacation is drawing to a close
3. we have had SO MUCH togetherness

To combat my LPD, I got up from the Mac and went to find L, because I've been really short with her today. I found her watching TV and picking the decal off of a perfectly good shirt. I almost had a nervous breakdown right there. WHY ARE YOU PICKING THE PICTURE OFF OF YOUR SHIRT? were my exact words. Then I exhausted screamed and then I hugged her and told her I'd been coming to apologize for my grumpiness and she laughed and said "I was just picking off the black outline," and I said, "You're killing me."

Clearly, I'm not shaking it off. This is the last Saturday of vacation, so tonight, I'll drink my wine and eat my should-be-a-chef husband's grilled chicken, send the children to another room and unwind with some HGTV and then tomorrow, we'll have a screen moratorium and we'll spend our very last day of vacay doing laundry and finding non-electronic ways to drive each other crazy.

Pray for us, friends, we are a mess.

Love,
Corks

Today is the day.

Hey friends,

Today is the day I've decided to unveil my blog to some of my world. It's been up for about a year, but I have just now worked up the gumption to show it to anybody. And then I managed to delete my second post, so I'm feeling really good about it right about now.
Here are my concerns about writing a blog:

1. I want people to like it. And me.

2. I want it to be funny, but not meaningless.

3. I want it to be meaningful, but not heavy-handed.

4. I want to say what I believe, but not deal with crumby people.

5. I like bad words and I want to use them occasionally(or often). Beware.

Since it took me a year between my two entries, I'm hoping to increase my speed, but I am making no promises. To tide you over until my next blog, I'm going to share a picture from the top of the Hunting Island Lighthouse, from Monday. I learned two things there: I can still climb to the top of a lighthouse. Pelicans fly in formation.

It was beautiful and I hope to go back.

Thanks for checking this out. I am hoping it can be something fun and entertaining. 

Hoping to have something new for you soon!

Love, 

Corks