This is Every New Year's Post. Sorry.

Greetings Revelers!

I'm about 2/3 of a bottle of Pinot Grigio into New Year's Eve, so it seems like as good a time as any to think about how 2015 went down and what could make 2016 better. I know this is what many are doing, transitions seem so daunting and we're all trying to rationalize our behavior. 2015 was a tough year for our family. We lost a beloved grandmother and two family pets. We had a bat infestation, college issues, high school issues, work issues, car issues, just like everybody else. We had big changes: starting middle school and kindergarten, starting a new college. We got a new dog and two new cars this year. I wanted to start 2016 off on a good foot and I had heard two Scots on the radio the other day, talking about New Year's traditions. One of them was to go into the New Year with a spotlessly clean house and I was bound and determined to make that happen, but it didn't. Maybe I'll start the first week of January with a clean house. Or the second. Or the third. It might never happen. It probably won't.

Looking back on 2015, my number one complaint is that I felt like a spectator--like I was watching my life happen with nothing to say or do about it. In light of this revelation, I started thinking about resolutions, and after perusing my very long list, I discovered that all of my resolutions together form a meme:



And when anything in my life is meme-worthy, well, that's a sign to give up on it.  I thought maybe  my resolution was actually a mantra: Action. Instead of waiting for life to happen to me, I've got to make it happen. However, this is a rather trite and modern notion. We are all looking to be active participants in our lives, like we don't live them day after day after day. Oh shit, I feel a meme coming on:

OK, so resolutions are out. But how else do I facilitate personal growth without a list or an idea, even, of where I want to go? My usual goal result is Miranda in "The Devil Wears Prada": thin, wealthy, lots of power. That's like twelve time zones from where I'm living as zaftig retail worker and suburban mother of five. Managing my expectations might be the first place to start. What can I achieve in a week, in a month, in a year? Moving from small southern city to New York townhouse is probably not going to happen, but I could do one project a month to get the house ready to sell someday. Going from size muumuu to 6 will take more than 3 months, but making exercise a daily practice can only help. Not likely that I'll become the CEO of a Fortune 500 fashion business in 2016, but taking steps to make myself more marketable might be a first step.

We all know, after years of listening to Oprah and her pals, that change is hard and making a habit takes time and just like a little kid has to taste the broccoli 40+ times before she'll eat it consistently, we have to work at making the muscle memory of anything we want to remember to do. Right now, my muscles remember coming home from work, sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of wine, alternating between staring at TV and my iPad. It's a comforting habit, but I'm not doing anything or making anything, I'm just sitting. Here's how I'm reimagining my week: I'll designate two nights a week as my wine and TV nights(Sunday and TBD) and I'll make sure to exercise three of the other nights, and we go to church on Wednesday nights, so that leaves me with one night to make or do something. On my wine nights, I can scour Pinterest for fun things to make! I need encouragement and Pinterest is going to get me there. OK, I'm going to need Pinterest and a really cute calendar from Target to get me there. And maybe a trip to Ikea. And the Container Store. And the craft store(the one that I feel really bad about shopping in, but it's so big sometimes I have to but I don't want to advertise for them because I think they are sanctimonious jerks).

One of the ways I can guarantee a project will get done is to make a list of things I need. Shopping is a happy place for me and I mean that in all of the capitalist, conspicuous consumption, bourgeois ways. I love to pick stuff up, look at it, feel it in my hands, compare it to 20 other things just like it and put it back, and then come back to get it, because really it was the right thing after all. It's like solving a mystery or completing a jigsaw puzzle, finding the perfect thing for whatever purpose is satisfying and it makes me feel accomplished. Anyway, I'm rationalizing. Just trust me, if I shop for it, it will get done(read that in a whisper, a la Field of Dreams).

Let's sum up. Nothing I'm doing is a resolution. I'm going to make small changes to my daily routine that require shopping prep and social media, so that I'm working with my strengths. I will try to update you on my progress, if I feel like it's productive, but if it becomes SO MUCH PRESSURE, then I probably won't. Also, I'm going to keep hammering away at this writing thing, but I don't want to put a lot of pressure on it, either. I don't think blogging is ever going to pay my bills, I just want it to be fun!  And lastly, I hope that 2016 is filled with personal growth or more volunteering or vacations or art or music or writing or whatever feeds everyone of you. We won't escape tragedy or sadness, but I hope all of your days are filled with love and joy!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Love, Corks.