Hippocampus. It's the best word ever. Also, kids.

Hello there!

It's been a long time! I have been busy this month being busy. You know the feeling--nothing much is going on, but there is so much to do. This morning, I've been thinking about what it's like to be a mom and how parenting happens. I have really packed in the parenting this morning. I've walked into one child's room and told them they need to go outside for 15 minutes today because the computer/video games are not a natural source of Vitamin D. See, I'm looking out for my children's health! But that's only one child. One sassy customer was sent to their room, but not before they complained that they needed food. I, of course, did not give in and that child is now starving. I was informed that they would probably die, and I confirmed that suspicion. Those are some real critical thinking skills and I'm glad I can reinforce the hypotheses. Lastly, the smallest person in our home informed me that she never wanted to be a wife or mother and that she will live with me until I die, at which point she will live alone. I am raising independent children!

All parents can have amazing parenting interactions, as you can see. I try to pack in all the knowledge I can every day by telling my children everything they already know, which is everything. I  came to this conclusion because every time I say anything, my children synchronize their eye rolls and bellow, in chorus, "I know, Mom." It IS funny how the things they don't know are always presented to me at 8 o'clock at night with tears and wailing and they almost always have a deadline of the next day and they almost always require effort on my part, like social studies fair projects and elaborate outfits that need to match with friends for Spirit Week, and nothing we own in the house is acceptable. Those are actually some of my favorite moments because I am creative and I have lots of ideas and I like working under a deadline! OF COURSE, my children pooh-pooh every idea or suggestion or solution, because children are jerks. They don't mean to be, but their brains aren't completely developed and apparently, the last part to develop is the appreciative zone, somewhere deep in the hippocampus(please don't google that, but please do think about the word hippocampus and then think about those Fantasia hippos in varsity jackets and swinging ponytails). It takes years of maternal clucks and reminders to develop children who appreciate a few of all of the crazy things you've done to make them happy or not make them happy, but to make them functioning members of the human race.

Why would any sane person have 5 children? Or two? Or even one, especially if you've been subjected to any other person's annoying children--that's a whole other story--or been in the company of any child ever for more than 24 hours. It's the craziest thing. But we all know the joy we feel when any tiny baby cracks a smile at us. Or when we distract a screaming toddler from their tantrum. Four-year-olds and their quirky sweetness are a saving grace in life because they give us a break from the devious, sassy Threes they once were and give us sweet, sweet memories to look back on fondly once they have become melodramatic and weepy Fives. There are payoffs to this parenting thing, like seeing your children emerge--slowly--from the terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible teen years and become adults with real brains that work that want to do things that make the world better. And there really isn't any better feeling than knowing your child wants to live with you forever, even though she's 5 and won't want to in 7 years(thank goodness) until she turns 16 and then she does again because the real world seems too scary and then doesn't again when she's 18 because she hates the absolute sight of you and anything you've ever perceived. But that moment of being her Number One is enough to get you through 1,000,000 moments of teen angst. Well, that and wine.

I'm never going to be a June Cleaver mom or even Elise Keaton. I am nothing if not short-tempered and sarcastic, but I cherish these 5 people I've been entrusted to mold and guide, even when I don't want to supervise the writing of another research paper or I'm stuffing my mouth with an entire pack of  bubble gum so I don't get kicked out of a soccer game for being mouthy. I love those jerks.

Parenting is relentless.We're doing the best we can!

Love,
Corks