please be kind.

OH friends,

I have sat down to the computer about 5 times over the last month to try and make sense of everything and each time I've been left with nothing. So, I'm trying again. It may just be a bad idea, I'm not sure, but 2.5 units of Chardonnay says,"give it a shot!"

There is so much ugliness and hate swirling around these days. It feels like the summer heat has caught us in an updraft of anger and no amount of air conditioning or pool water will dampen it. People are dying because of this anger and there don't seem to be any real attempts to put it out and, honestly, how would you? This is no ordinary anger. It's been fermenting for years. People feel alienated from each other and scared of each other and like they are being used. And then white people blame brown people and brown people blame white people and Republicans blame Democrats and vice versa. But it's not the actual people themselves, it's the idea of people that we hate. I'll be honest, when I think about "Republicans," I roll my eyes because I can't understand why anyone would EVER think like that. But if I think about some of the most lovely people I know, who also happen to be Republicans, then, of course, I feel more kindly toward them.

There is a thing that came to the surface in 2008, that really flabbergasted a lot of white liberals, like me, who live in a very comfortable world of love and equality and that was blatant racism. WOW, electing a black President really scared the pants off of a lot of people and the internet gave them the ability to say anything anonymously that they would never say to their neighbors. Having moved away from the DC area and the news that is both local, national and international(it's different out here in the weeds, DC friends), the Georgia/Alabama line is not a friendly place for a black President. Do you wonder why I say that? Maybe because I have had so many, many, many people tell me how awful he is in the most superficial of conversations. Also because I make the mistake of reading the comments on our local newspaper's FB page.

Here is a funny thing about me: I adore people with style. I really do. No matter what kind of style they have, if someone pulls it off with poise and a little je ne sais quoi, I am hooked. No surprise then, that I am, completely superficially, in love with President Obama and the First Lady, without even thinking about politics or intelligence(although they are both incredibly smart and do things that make sense in my frame of thinking). You can imagine, then, how crushed I was the first time I saw Michelle Obama referred to as "a gorilla in an evening gown" in some internet comments section. And then I saw references to her "African"ness and how she should leave and go back to Africa, even though she's from Chicago and her dad was a postman. NAIVELY, I was stunned. I mean, those were comments from the 50's--the George Wallace era--not the new millenium.

Suddenly, racism is cool again? I hear the code everywhere. I work with an amazing young woman, who has a BS in Biology and an MBA, and she recently went on an interview where they told her they were impressed with how articulate she is. She's also literally African-American(her dad is from Ghana). ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHY WOULDN'T A WOMAN WITH AN ADVANCED DEGREE BE ARTICULATE? Customers tell me a look is too "urban" for their child. People tell me they won't go to the mall because of the "element" that shops there. Ugh. Enough.What is driving this racism? It's fear, of course. I think white people are afraid of losing their majority. What are the stats? In 30 years, we'll be a majority brown country. What ever will we do? Uh, deal with it. Because, by then, almost everyone will be related to a person of color somehow, someway and it won't be scary anymore. SO, how do we overcome this fear-based hate for the next thirty years or so?

I know that it won't come from alienating the world community or each other. I know that politics that focus on the fear of the other isn't going to make it any better. Our forefathers knew, inherently, that choosing one religion over another was a bad route for a country of immigrants. Our ancestors came here to escape many different types of persecution: racial, economic, religious. We cannot be the generation that turns its back on the promise of freedom and equality that the United States of America has represented for 240 years. The only things that will undo racism and hate and fear are kindness and morality. We know right from wrong. We know that hating someone because they look or act or believe differently from us is wrong. Most of our mothers and fathers told us to "do unto others..." or to "be a friend to the friendless" or not to "judge a book by its cover." We know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of a kindness and what it feels like to be judged and still...

I come to the same conclusion that I come to every time I think about things. It all boils down to doing the right thing, to choosing to recognize the humanity of the person you are afraid of instead of trying to dehumanize them. Not hard at all...until the other does something stupid or awful or takes a stance that is the opposite of everything we believe in. Be nice anyway. Find a way to extend the olive branch, if only for the growth opportunity. Just do the kind thing. Please.

Love,
Corks