100.

100 hundred days until election. Wow. It's been a long time coming. You know why I think Trump should go? Because he encourages people to be the worst version of themselves. I'm not as worried about policy as I am worried about our country. Meanness has increased during this administration.

It's the way Trump talks to and about people. It's the way he doesn't argue a point, he just tears people down. He has a weird relationship with women: his words about them are exploitive, condescending, and vengeful. All of his conflicts, whether diplomatic or personal, are inflamed by his rush to negative emotion. He reacts without discretion or foresight, without regard for the fallout he produces. His focus is always inward and when he comments on others, it is only to celebrate or condemn those who impact him. 

To me, that is the thing that has done the most harm to our country: Trump's focus on himself. He has encouraged, through policy and poor personal example, Americans to disregard the need for a society of equals. The administration's policies encourage the rise of income inequality, through taxes that benefit the wealthiest and, ultimately, rob from the middle class. His environmental policy puts public health at risk, and benefits those wealthy enough to exploit our public lands. When offered the opportunity to speak to Americans, or for Americans, Trump takes the low road. Whether it is denigrating his predecessor, sending paramilitary goons to Oregon, locking children in cages along the border, or using alt-right dogwhistles to signal his support for the white supremacist movement in America, Trump manages to undermine what has been our strength for 240+ years: our commitment to each other. Whether it is refusing to wear a mask to protect others and set a good example, or having peaceful protesters forcibly removed to facilitate a photo op(with an upside-down Bible, no less), he is only interested in his own desires and personal image. 

There have been other presidents who I didn't support, but who I assumed loved their country as much as any other American, but I doubt this with Trump. His only pledge is to himself. 

In 100 hundred days, will you vote for the man who mocks anyone who disagrees with him, like a petulant pre-teen? Who feels bad for Ghislaine Maxwell? Who disrespects women? Is the stock market the only thing you value? Is your personal wealth more important than democracy and community? It is time to ask ourselves what matters most to us. I'll vote with my values, and it won't be for Trump.

Bread in a Can

Hey y'all!

So, it's been four months, or 17 years in global pandemic time.
What in the Hell? Bill Gates told us it was coming, but we always underestimate him, don't we? We are stuck in this weird limbo of not leaving our homes, but trying to stay connected. Frankly, I am not making the most of this time off, unless you count breaking all of my previous screen time records.

Here is a list of things I thought I could get accomplished while I have 24/7 uninterrupted time with my family:

1. Exercise every day.
2. Clean out all of the closets and the junk drawers.
3. Develop a filing system to manage the mountains of paper("paperless society," ha!)
4. Weed the yard.
5. Clean the storage rooms(inside and outside).
6. Make something!
7. Write beautiful blogs once a week.
8. Journal, with gratitude.
9. Spend lots of quality time building up my children and encouraging them to do good things.
10. Spend lots of quality time with my hubs, building him up and encouraging him to do good things.
11. Keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for more than 1 day.
12. Take the dogs on long, brisk walks to get out in nature.

Here is how it's working out:

1. I have 8 workouts recorded on my fitness app. So 8/30 days(27%). To be fair, the other day, I forgot what I was doing so I went up and down the stairs about 10 times in 10 minutes, so I feel like that counts as 9/30(30%).
2. I tried to clean out the closet under the stairs(even before we had a tornado warning), but it is filled with things to be shredded and the shredder died a very stinky, electrical-burning smell death after about 30 minutes. I mean, I tried. Also, I cleaned out my armoire and gave my 90's neckerchiefs to my children to repurpose as headbands. Also, found a flannel nightshirt that came in really handy last night when we dropped to the 40's! TWO WINS!!
3. Yeah, no.
4. Um, no.
5. So, no.
6. I have done some art with my friend, Mama D, via Facebook Live. And made a watercolor of a tree. I hand-embroidered some gifts. I hand-sewed a mask because my sewing machine is buried in the storage closet(and I think it's broken, can't remember). GO ME!
7. I'm working on this one! 1/4(25%)
8. The first few days, I wrote down my plan for what the kids should do in case Michael and I got coronavirus and died. Not exactly uplifting, but maybe necessary? (hey kids, it's in a spiral notebook by my bed.) One of the things is #3, so I guess I should get on that. I have been trying to think grateful thoughts, and I am putting on my perspectacles, (https://momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/) to keep myself in check when I get down in the dumps. We may be eating bread out of a can today, and we have more than we can eat today.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I am here to enjoy it. I may not be journaling, but I am grateful for all that I have. Thanks, God. 50% win-woohoo.
9. I am spending lots of time with my children. I am encouraging them to go to their rooms a lot(also demanding that). We are talking a lot about boundaries and reading over peoples' shoulders and putting our feet on others and why 10 minutes of math a day has never killed anyone. And also, we are all still alive and mostly functioning, so WINNING ALL AROUND.
10. Does the question "how many beers have you had?" count as building someone up? Hmm. I have started hugging him again, now that he hasn't shown any symptoms. Wife of the Year🎖
11. So, I don't have wine EVERY day. When I do, I like to commit. But I have managed to leave one glass in the bottle twice now. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.
12. Someone has walked a dog everyday. We have 2 dogs, so not 100%. Zelda, our tiny Weim, struggles with the world beyond our fence. She's afraid of everything. Walking with her is a challenge because, first, she wants to wrap herself around you so that she is as close to you as possible. And second, her goal on a walk is to get back home, so she runs towards the house at top speed, even if you are walking away from the house(wrapped up in her leash). Zelda does get frisbee time every day and frisbee is her passion, so yay. Pepper, our chill-except-around small-mammals-and-some-other-dogs, likes to poop in the street, which makes things fun. 100%, because dogs can't do math! 

I am doing my best and it's not great, but it's all I have. Hope you are all doing your best and being kind to yourselves and WASHING YOUR HANDS! Stay home and maybe I will write something else. But, maybe not.

Love,
Corks

Learning Year

Y'all!

It's been so long: a year since I have written anything. I am trying to think back to what I was doing, and it was everything and nothing. Intentionality went out the window this year, because I was just trying to keep my head above water. I existed. The nicest thing I could say is that 2019 was a learning year. I learned all kinds of things, like:

1. Not everyone is going to like me. Not even if I am good. Not even if I bend over backwards trying to prove how good I am. Apparently, this is the lesson of my life that I have to relearn and relearn until I finally let go of other people's perceptions and embrace myself. Brené Brown says, "our sense of belonging can never be greater than our sense of self-acceptance." Yikes. That's a toughy.

2. I am a hell of a worker. I can work and work and work forever, until I have weird freak out meltdown that reinforces the perceptions of the people that weren't going to like me anyway(see above). Busy has been my mantra and my motto and my mission statement and my core value and all the other things for a number of decades now, and I am kind of over it. I need to find a space where I can just be. ***Somebody remind me of this when I am saying "yes" to whatever I have been asked to do. Of course, there are things I want to do, I just can't do them all.***

3. I can't save anybody. I want to save everybody, but I am neither equipped to save them, nor is it my job. But I want to save them sooooo badly. If only everyone would listen to my sage advice all the time. GEEZ.

4. I have reached the point that I am old when it comes to technology. I will not be the TikTok dancing mom. Snapchat has left me behind. I will Instagram until my fingers bleed, and Words with Friends is my part-time job, but learning new things is hard. I am always going to be about 6 months-a year behind and I am the butt of my children's jokes, which is, I suppose, an appropriate role for me(and I am still going to play the victim when they tease me, because I enjoy torturing them in small ways, not just big ones).

5. Creativity enhances my life. Nothing I make is really excellent(e.g., this blog post), but the joy is in the practice, not the result. Ok, sometimes it is about the result and if I let my perfectionism get involved, it's all about the thing I have created. The lesson I really tried to learn this year is to let go of the power of the thing, and enjoy the practice. Really, really tried to learn that lesson, and still really concerned with the results, if I'm honest. So, like relearning that not everyone will like me, also relearning that practicing is the goal, and perfection is not the end game. THE HARDEST LESSON.

What was your learning from 2019? Did you have a good year? Send me your wisest thoughts and practices. I need them.

Love,
Corks

PS I missed you guys. I am going to try to write to you more often.